swings

there are times, i swear it, that i consider whether or not i am crazy. sometimes i am happy, genuinely happy. other times i am really sad, sick of everything and want to just start over.

i absolutely hate going to school. i want to work on projects with a team, not with a bunch of idiot kids in a class too full to breath. i feel like a remnant of something that has passed, like a different type of person from all those around me. there's a couple folks out there who get it. dead mike knows what i am talking about, and he's said a fair bit himself too. touched me to the core. but im still at a loss for what to do. i need prayer big time. i need i.tv to come through, or else to be transformed into some super being who can stand to finish school here if the job doesn't work out.

at this point i don't have any clue what to do, but sit here, thinking about oregon, surfing, van morrison, and installation art. sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

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