if you try sometimes

if you try sometimes, you just might find
you get what you need.

i guess i need to try a little harder

being here at home has left me bored, broke, and ready to work. no word on the job situation as of yet. from what mausty says, i have the position, but i haven't worked a lick yet. he said that his boss has been a little out of it lately, and that he's pretty overworked. i call, i leave messages, but nothing yet.

being here at home has opened up many opportunities for me to get things done during the day. usually however the amount of tasks completed is in direct contrast to the number of cigarettes smoked, with the latter category usually beating out the former. i must admit however that this is perfect time for me to quit because i frankly can't stand smoking when it is so damned hot outside. i just can't handle it. i need me some fog to make it worthwhile. i sure will miss though i am sure.

there are things that i can capitalize on while i am here such as: painting part of my neighbor's house for some extra cash, doing the sprawling mountain of dishes in the kitchen, cleaning the house, and starting to pack for the move. these things are not on my list of things that i completed today, who's illustrious members include: several four legged friends from the desert, dropping off some junk for amanda at biola, hanging out looking at my own art show, listening to 'let it bleed' three or four times, making grilled cheese, and drinking iced coffee. {let me add at this juncture that listening to the stones on my new wooden ipod with my '70's headphones makes it so future-past that i can only imagine it would be something that stones would have had, you know if we actually had received jet packs, robots and flying cars in the year 2000}

i guess i need to try a little harder

so yeah, lots of things that i need to take care of, but i think the most pressing thing is the discipline of self. if i ever want to be a successful artist, i need to cultivate a good work ethic, and actually get out of my house a bit to get some ideas rolling around in my head. if i ever want to finish school, teach, build a house or leave southern california, im actually going to have to take some initiative.

you can't always get what you want
but if you try sometimes
you just might find
the you get what you need.