Thursday, November 13, 2003

feel my sorrow

im thankful for those of you who read this. im thankful that you are 'here' with me for this amazing time in my life. honestly i am fairly suprised at the way that God has given me the grace and the courage to weather this stormy time in my life. in light of this though, i do have some prayer requests...

i could really use all the encouragement that you can offer to me. there's really no one in my life that can be there for me right now in a significant way. amanda can't and neither can my mom, both of them for obvious reasons. i have the Lord to lean on, but He's not here to physically minister to me like either amanda or my mom could with a hug or a hand to hold. pray that i would recieve some support from someone in my immediate physical location.

im also in prayer and would like you to join me in praying for the situation that i am in. for healing for her, that the Spirit would pour into her heart, break down the walls she is building, humble her and bring her out of her self proclaimed 'dark night of the soul'

pray for courage for me
pray that she would turn to God
pray for us

drop me a line if you want to, Lord knows i could use it.
also come see me, i miss all of you


Sunday, November 09, 2003

dance with me

jesse wrote the best song he has ever written tonight, aside from the not-to-be-mentioned song from the montana sessions. its tenitively called 'dance with me'. this song breaks my heart. if you know me, you will understand. here are the lyrics, but keep it on the dl, jesse doesn't know im putting on here. its his fault for leaving the lyrics on the porch...

at the mouth
of the river
by the holler
watching you shiver
its not cold
its in your head
dance with me

the lantern
burning slow
the oil
fuels the glow
don't be a fool
its in your head
dance with me

the shuffle
the awkward shuffle
won't let you down
be at peace
little darlin
we'll get around

if its winter
you'll make it spring
if it rains
you'll make it sing
a change may come
its in your head
dance with me

and if the night
gives way to dawn
and your smile
becomes a yawn
don't go to sleep
its in your head
dance with me

don't go to sleep
its in your head
dance with me

i can't wait for him to record this because it is absolutely beautiful. total mix tape material
i've already got the list going in my head...


Saturday, November 08, 2003

sickness follows

well friends, its all finally catching up to me. the hours of stress, worry and not eating have brought with them the joy of sickness. i have the worst head cold that i have had for a long time. all in all though it has been a good weekend nonetheless so far.

today i went to the MOCA with maust for some amazing shows. first we went to phillipes for breakfast, then to the geffen contemporary for some first class installation art. good stuff. go see the shows that are up there right now.

then we walked our asses up to the MOCA on Grand Ave. and got to see the kick ass frank gehry show. this man is the most amazing arcitecht on earth. the situationists would be proud. they would let him build their city. if you are interested in anything at all in this world that is good, you must venture out of your cave and go to the shows at the MOCA's. they are amazing

in other news i am once again sitting at home doing nothing. i have folded all of my clean laundered clothes, picked out what to wear to church and rian murnen's wedding tomorrow, had several cups of tea and found myself sitting here at this computer wondering what to do. come back to me my bestfriend. this whole thing sucks.

and in general that situation is not something i am going to really be talking about on here because that would be rediculous. i do though really appreciate your past and continued prayers for the situation. god is moving and things are happening. pray that He would be glorfied, heart would be healed, and things can move forward in His will.

im starting to get really busy trying to figure out the two solo art shows that i have coming up during the first couple months of 2004. there's lots to be done, but i think i have a pretty good handle on how things are going to turn out. now i just have to figure out how i am going to be able to afford to create the things that i want to, without having to sell everything i own, including my car. pray for me and send your ideas on how to make cash.

im kinda bummed that i didn't really get to hang out with deadmike very much while he was here, but i understand that sometimes things just don't work out like we think they will. hopefully you will come home again soon mikey. give me a call sometime soon, or drop me a bubbs.

ok i am going to go do something... like listen to music or something. maybe even eat some food...


Monday, November 03, 2003

veteran's day

for your consideration, i offer the next article for the newspaper i write for. its an opinion about veteran's day. any references to any school are ficticious and you should forget about them faster than jesus can forgive sins.

One of the first things that I can ever remember noticing about my grandfather, or Papa as we called him, was the dark green ink on his right forearm in the shape of an eagle. I would often times try and catch a glimpse of it while he rolled up his sleeves to chop wood, or while he slipped on his heavy coat to go out in the rain. I was intrigued by what that eagle might stand for. It wasn't until after he had passed away that I really began to understand why he had that green eagle on his arm, surrounded by a wreath of stars with arrows and stalks of wheat in its claws.

It turns out my Papa ran away at the ripe old age of 16 to join the US Navy and fight the Japanese in the Western Theater of WWII. It wasn't long after he was aboard ship in Portland, Oregon that he and some Navy buddies were out on the town one night and woke up the next morning with aching heads and fresh tattoos. Not too many days after this, and just before the ship was to head to sea, Papa's parents showed up and took their no-good, lying, tattooed son back to Cottage Grove, Oregon to finish his last two years of High School.

There were many battles yet to be fought in my Papa's life, but none of them ever turned out to be against the Japanese. That tattoo became a symbol however for the love of country in my Papa's heart. There was not a day when respects weren't paid by him in honor of those who fought and those who died in hopes that we might remain free.

Its this that brings me to the main point of what I am trying to get at. Hundreds of thousands of men and women have fought, and many of have died so that you and I-American Citizen or not- could be herein this land of the free. The very possibility that Our University could exist outside of the United States is slim, but we do exist here, and are able to because of the sacrifice of years and lives of many men and women.

November 11th is Veteran's Day. Unlike Memorial Day when we are to honor strictly our war dead (though we mostly honor our need for vacations), Veteran's Day is set aside to remember the sacrifice of the dead in addition to focusing on those veterans still living. Many may conjure up images of old codgers sitting in nursing homes wearing black Navy hats with destroyers on them, or ancient wrinkled men with RANGER tattooed on their arm - but veterans are a broader group than the aging war veterans we often think of first.

I personally know several former U.S. armed services personell that attend or work right here at Biola University. Im not going to name names, or write this article to point out the great accomplishments of our former Biola's but to draw your attention reader to a greater concept. These men and women, men and women just like you and I, have given up their time, and some of them have even given up their earthly lives, so that you and I could sit here today. Stop whatever you are doing and think about that for a second.

In light of the sacrifice of so many, whether you agree with the current US foreign policy or not, it would be downright shameful to not thank a veteran this year. This brings up the question, how does Biola as a community thank the men and women who protect our freedoms? My answer is; not very well.

Let's be honest, did you know that next Tuesday is Veteran's Day? I bet you didn't, because there will be no mention of it around here that day. It is unfortunate that a community so founded on love and the pursuit of knowledge would neglect such a meaningful gesture as honoring those who have labored to protect Her. Though Biola may not lift a collective finger to recognize the meaningful sacrifice of so many, that's no excuse for you and I to do the same.

This next Tuesday, take some time out to think about the sacrifice of those who have fought for our freedoms. Praise God for them in your quiet time. Pray for protection and guidance for those who are still serving around the world and here at home. Take a walk over to La Mirada City Hall and look at the Flags that fly there; one for our Nation, and one for those whom have never made it home. Men and women, just like you and me. Whether you agree with foreign policy or not, those men and women are just like you and me. That's something that ought not to be over looked or forgotten. They will not be forgotten.

Now, Therefore, I, Dwight D. Eisenhower, President of the United States of America, do hereby call upon all of our citizens to observe Thursday, November 11, 1954, as Veterans Day. On that day let us solemnly remember the sacrifices of all those who fought so valiantly, on the seas, in the air, and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom, and let us reconsecrate ourselves to the task of promoting an enduring peace so that their efforts shall not have been in vain.

they will not be forgotten--->

Saturday, November 01, 2003

all saints day

well its the day after the big holla'ween bash. it was beyond my wildest expectations. who knew there would be 40 plus people crammed into the house when i got here? who knew it would take me nearly 5 minutes to make my way the five feet from the steps, across the porch and through the front door. absolutely astonishing. great night, good converstaions, lots of encouraging people for the cause of Christ. really good stuff.

in other news, there's tons going on, but nothing im going to put here on this thing. most everyone who reads this that i would want to know the heads up on things, already does. keep praying everyone. for me, for her, that the glory of God be done in this situation and that He be followed by all parties. pray pray pray.

lots coming up on the table, art, school, holidays etc. please keep me in your prayers that i would be able to glorify God through everything i do evvery day. time for me to get get all cleaned up, showers are a beautiful thing