lonesome day

sing it bruce...

baby once i thought i knew
everything I needed to know about you
your sweet whisper, your tender touch
i didn't really know that much
joke's on me, it's gonna be okay
if i can just get through this lonesome day
lonesome day

hell's brewing, dark sun's on the rise
this storm will blow through, by and by
house is on fire, vipers in the grass
little revenge and this too shall pass
this too shall pass, darling
yeah i'm gonna pray
right now, all I got's this lonesome day
lonesome Day

it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright

better ask questions before you shoot
deceit and betrayal's a bitter fruit
it's hard to swallow come time to pay
that taste on your tongue don't easily slip away
thy kingdom come, i'm gonna find my way
yeah, through this lonesome day
lonesome day
lonesome day
lonesome day

it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah
it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, yeah

lonesome day
lonesome day
lonesome day

-->

r.i.p st. patrick

today in long beach the cat that i gave to amanda, a little snow-shoe siamese named st. patrick was hit by a car. he must not have suffered very much cause he was in pretty good shape when she found him on the grass beside the street. a neighbor had called her because her phone number was on the little green tag we got for his collar.

he was one of the sweetest cats i have ever been around. brilliant white coat with golden brown highlights, a black tail and feet, and crystal blue eyes. i gave him to amanda back in june when he was only about 5 weeks old. he would run around my room, playing with everything, jumping, clawing, the works. he would let me lay him upside down and rub his belly, and would actually fall asleep with his legs straight up in the air. he especially like being scratched under his chin.

thankfully amanda took a ton of pictures of him, finishing a role that she had started when she got him by taking the final pic yesterday. he was such a sweet cat, and his getting killed is a tough blow to amanda and to i. thankfully we got to bury him here in the backyard together. he's in the flowerbed with a headstone of two giant clumps of bamboo that climb to about 20 feet tall. we kept his little green name tag and i think im going to frame it for amanda. she's super sad about it, and we're both going to miss that sweet little cat so much. of course something like this would happen during a super hectic and sad time like now while im moving out of my house. man the blows just never stop...

->

manor

there are lots of things in my life that i have lost. innocense, life, loved ones, dogs, keys, clothes, parking spaces etc. but there haven't really been too many things, aside from loved ones that i think i will miss more than the manor

this place has been a home to me for more than a year now, and its been a year of profound growth, sadness, joy, improvement and friendships. i can honestly say, save for the home i no longer have with my family, there's not a 'home' that i will miss more after we're all out of this wonderful old house.

darren running around with a chair and wine bottle. sycz racking up 261 points playing madden in the basement. jesse asking me how he looks in his silly old courduroy suit jacket. dan bush moving to virginia, maust and the kids splitting for the ghetto, creapy jeans spilling and breaking everything. willett being the man with the bogey friends, wyatt sleeping in the basement and being an angel. nate rose making the big bucks and sleeping in our house. tyson, all of his rich stuff in the basement and those dipshits with the pizza trash and terrible taste in everything. billy with his intoxicated motor cycle hijinx. matt miller and his wandering awkwardness. and me, the man with everything to lose.

i could fill an entire blog with old memories, conversations, stories, porch time, broken coffee cups, trampoline tricks, grandpa jesse, crazy darren, dead mike and all the rest, but it would never measure up to the space in my heart and soul for this time spent with these guys. in a lot of ways they have been everything i've got in this whole world for the last year and half, and there's no way to convey that in words.

we're still here though. sitting on the porch, hogging the computer, drinking the coffee, making large messes, listening to the music loud enough to hear down the block, staying up too late, never really doing anything and everything all at the same time. and that's the point. we are us. that's it. and we will always be here in this house. longer lasting than the '36 handprint on the back porch, more colorful than the pastel paint, richer than the wood detailing in the whisky room and longer lasting than that musty old ghost that glides through the upstairs hall at night. he history, old news. the manor boys are here to stay. even when we've gone...

somehow i think my grandpa would have hung out with us here too..

--->

w00f w00f!

talk about a dog's eye view of the world. i found this cool new site that is a dog blog! how cool is that. check it out here at w00fw00f. whiskey seems to be a pretty cool pooch.

yelp!--->

fall

welcome to the first official day of fall. hopefully this season of change will find us all in a better place than we are at now.

--->

funny how the time slips away

well looking back at it now, im not really all that suprised that i forgot the unit64 one year anniversary. there's maybe been one person reading it the whole time anyway... big ups to dead mike. also a big thanks goes out to everyone else who reads this rag. throw your name down on a shout out for old times sake

yeah yeah yeah--->

strawberry fields forever

everyone who reads this little slice of the blogosphere knows that i have a crazy life. who knows whats going to happen next... certainly not me. throughout it all however i sure know how to have a nice relaxing time.

i've been spending my morning sitting around my house since eight, drinking coffee, eating strawberries, listening to samba and relaxing in a sweatshirt. i really should teach a course about chillin out hardcore.

i have to go to school later on today, but i really dont want to. i would rather stay home, clean the house, work in the garden (if we had one) and read good books. that's the type of life i am looking for today...
--->

samba sunday

sitting here in my empty house, sunday morning sunshine pouring through the windows, listening to girl from ipenema. this stan getz/joao gilberto album sparked the whole american samba craze of the '60's and for good reason, it is awesome

you can check out a good review of it right here
ps. i am sitting on the porch again...>

girl from the north country

im sitting around tonight, after packing up three or four boxes of books from my room, dinking coffee, listening to some music and sitting on the porch. fairly typical, aside from the packing. there hasn't been anyone here in the house for about four or five hours save for me. the band plays on though, like always. there always seems to be music pouring out of our house. i don't plan on that changing for the next couple of weeks. the rooms get less and less full of things, but they are just getting filled up more and more with measures, time, arrangements, guitars, voice and harps. right now the wood floors and the bare walls are being graced with the presence of the one and oly freewheeling bob dylan.

its a hard rain gonna fall --->

avast! no lubbers today, ye scurvy bilge rats!

so i know i missed it by a couple of hours, but whatever. here are some awesome links on national talk like a pirate day. who knew it was invented by a couple of guys from oregon!

what's your pirate name?
mine is either Thomas the Pink, or First Mate Francis the Surly Beard. I think i like the last one better...

shiver me timbers!--->

friday, friday

well friday has traditionally been my favorite day. today has been a wee bit dissapointing in the grand scheme of things, but alright nonetheless simply because it is friday. on the virtues of this day i will let you know what my night is like so far.

i am listening to the newest cold play album 'a rush of blood to the head'. it is a good album. here is the cover:

i guess i am going to buy a gun and start a war

im also enduring the noise of the 'band' practicing downstairs. although tonight they aren't so bad because i think its araby, instead of the other one. someone is playing the harmonica. so that's cool, even though it still doesn't sound good.

im also drinking some coffee. coffee is good. i am drinking it tonight on ice in a pint glass. here is what i am drinking, it's the anniversary blend:

in other news, i am now on friendster and that's pretty cool. i like it. i am finally making friends.

i guess that's about it for right now. not sure what i am going to do this weekend besides packing up boxes, listening to music, and of course... more sitting on the porch.

--->

in the air tonight

recalling one of my favorite moments in television history, i often pan across the big screen of my mind to a certain sequence in the pilot episode/movie for the series miami vice. phil collins's song 'in the air tonight' rolls through this sequence like herion through my veins while watching the black ferrari swim through the think florida night air.

i have that same sort of feeling right now thinking about the upcoming events of the next month or two. will i be working for an awesome company? or will ricardo tubbs and i have our guts spilled upon the gator-infested swamp bottom that is the university... only time will tell i suppose. but i still hate pretty much everyone here at school... how's that for a vice, hoo-ah!

i like trampolines, desert animals, coffee cans, little red shoes from ireland, and the everly brothers.
top that--->

astral weeks

welcome to the duldrums. these are the halycron days my friends tha calm before the storm. soon this calm may well turn into a hurricane.

there's been some days during the last week or so without computers, so i will try to catch stuff up.

today was a wonderful day, spent sitting on my porch, skipping class and preparing mentaly and spiritually for the times to come. i am going through my midlife crisis a little bit early, but who cares. i have lived more than the wrinkles on my face or my 22 years should normally allow, so i don't worry about the whole thing too much. i made a fun purchase today. i call it the joy machine. you can't get near it without smiling. i also received a great album in the mail today which i have been unable to take out of the cd player.

astral weeks is, as was described to me by the illustrious J.Gloyd, the quintessential winter album. van morrison has more soul than a boatload of new musicians, and this very well attests to that. just check out the cover for crying out loud...

im not too sure what these next few weeks will hold. we're fast approaching the last days of the manor. J.R. Cash has gone on to be with the Man, and im listless and wandering again. i need $25,000 for the senior show that i want to do, and i don't even have $25 Who knows if it will even work out. i know it could be breath taking. we'll see if there can even be any life breathed into it i guess.

dmh is going back to michigan. dead mike is going back to his casa to be with the familia, and i am heading over to the bijou with J.Gloyd. No matter how much i try to be into where i am at, i just don't feel my heart there. i am at peace, but not content. the Lord has blessed me in my life with a peace that passes all understanding no matter what the situation, but im not able to accept my life as it is now. there's got to be more than this. i am tired of putting in time for something i am not even sure i want. society tells me i need a degree, but since when have i ever listened to 'them'. i just need something really big i guess. i gotta remember to ask.
now i get to do some homework
---)

a thorn tree in a whirlwind

its been a weekend to remember. there was the passing of a legend, and a nice time of reflection and solitude away from the city.

sycz and i spent friday and saturday in ventura with gloyd's parents, relaxing, surfing and just spending some quiet time. it was nice to be out of town, and breathing the salt air, being cold and seeing cloud cover was a nice change from the city. the sooner i am out of LA, the sooner i will feel more myself again.

i write more about the passing later on, there's just to much to sort through right now. im doing a piece for the paper about him, and i will post that when it is finished. i will leave it at this for now.

--->

PATRIOT II


there are some scary things afoot in this country of ours. here's an article that seems to make some concise points about the things that i am afraid are going to happen. i guess this means i need to buy a gun and set up shop on the front porch with good old bp.

say it loud and proud.. (together now) we're getting fucked
--->

here is my 9-11 article for the paper from the university


It’s hard to believe its been two years. I think it’s important to get that sentiment conveyed early so that we can think about it and move on. Life often deals us strange cards, and the Lord helps us to cultivate good things through them. There has been a lot of growth during these last two years, and those good things are to His glory. However, there are a lot of things in this great land of ours, whether you are a citizen or not, that we can look to as not so good reminders of what has happened in the world since September 11th, 2001.

I, like many people can relate to I am sure, remember clearly waking up that morning to a very early phone call from home. My mom said, “Matthew there’s something going on in New York. Get out of bed and turn on your t.v. Call me back when you have the chance to let me know if L.A. is safe.”

I remember saying something to the effect to my mom that L.A. isn’t a safe place to begin with but by that time, against her customary manner, she had already hung up the phone. I crawled down out of my bed, and my world changed along with everyone else’s while i watched history unfold on the t.v. in my living room.

I spent the rest of that day, in defiance of Biola’s decision that students should attend all classes, sitting in front of my t.v. I have always been a news buff, and CNN or MSNBC were always on at my house. My apartment in Tropicana was no different. My roommates and I talked a lot that day about what might happen, and we watched the coverage with great attentiveness. A couple of hours later, while things were getting sorted out bit by bit, my roommates Will, Jared and I talked about what we could do, being so far away but a part of it nonetheless. So we did what we thought was right-- we climbed onto our roof and hung an American flag, Union leading, from the edge of our building. It billowed on there in the breeze for weeks afterward.

That night, to break the tension along with our neighbors, we watched a ridiculous movie. It was a takeoff of a Shakespeare play, starring none other than the lead singer from Dru Hill. Despite everything it had going against it, and I mean everything, that movie holds a special place in my heart. We all needed a break, and it was perfect. That night was back to all quite on the western front as Will and I sat in the silent courtyard watching the only two planes in the sky, Air Force fighters, flying defensive formation back and forth across the South Land. There was nothing else we could do but listen, fly the flag and wait for an enemy.

Now we know who our enemy is. We’ve fought two wars against terrorism, hundreds of more people have died and where are we? Have we caught the men who did this? We didn’t really have to, because the individuals took care of themselves. What we are left with is an idea, and it is hard to fight an idea with bombs. Slowly but surely, I think I am coming to the realization that our enemy is going to be a lot harder to beat than the Government is telling us. The thing is that we’re part of the problem too.

Let me say firmly, and without equivocation, that I fully support our military and I most certainly call myself a patriot. The men and women of our armed services have carried themselves with honor and many of them have laid down their lives for our freedom during their service. I can’t help wondering though whether or not these souls gave their lives in vain for something that our military isn’t going to be able to eradicate. Whether or not I agree doesn’t really matter. Wars will be fought and people will lose their lives. The thing I fear the most though, is what we will have to give up here at home before people sit up and take notice that things aren’t what they used to be.

We’re not being asked to help in this fight by rationing our foods, blacking out our windows, or buying war bonds like the American public did during W.W.II. Our sacrifices are going much deeper than that, and are taking place almost completely under the noses of the American public without the slightest bit of understanding.

The Patriot act has, with one fell swoop, eradicated American citizen's freedom search warrant by secret search warrant. Freedom from Government interference in your private life has been replaced by a firm sense that no matter what color the terrorist threat level is, you can rest assured your every move is being watched by big brother. Democratic people, searching for fairness, truth and representation in its purest Republic form are being targeted by the Government for their beliefs. Land of the free my kentucky fried chicken wing! Then there's Patriot act II. Look it up on google, but have a nice stiff drink of milk sitting around to calm your freedom loving nerves when you are done reading about what is at stake.

Racism, bigotry and anti-semitism are also creeping back into popular culture. In the wake of the attacks, hate crimes against muslims and people of middle-eatsern descent rose like ghosts of the anti-Italian and immigrant sentiments of post WW I America. Coupled with our government acting as a global policeman, instead of limiting itself to the western hemisphere, and it has not been a good time to be an American.

There have been positive things as well however. Increased consciousness of spiritual matters and people seeking truth have become common place in pop culture. People are spending more time with their families and, hopefully, talking about the things that really matter. And who knows, maybe singer songwriters will start producing more meaningful, Spirit-seaking music like that of the Vietnam War era.

So things have changed, that's not to be denied. The question is what to do about it. As Americans and people of Faith we have a double responsibility. We're called to be in this world, but not of it. Christianity has a long tradition, at least in America of walking away from cultural movements at the least opportune time. I pray that now would not be one of those times. We are being called to stand as guiding lights of faith, liberty and truth in this land of slowly fading moral, political and factual standing. We are to fight for liberty, the rights of States, local governments and the common citizen. We received a wake up call the sunny September morning, and its now our job to make the most of the longest day this country has seen in years. The beginning has been fairly bleak, but with determination to maintain private freedoms, truth and liberty for all, the setting of the sun on this great nation will be more colorful than smoke rising from the ground, tingeing the sky a mournful red.

--->

~vibrating strings~

here's a great article about string theory, and how it is going to be on tv. i have the book that is talked about in this article, and i regularly link the author, alan boyle and his 'cosmic log' blog on msnbc. you can check my link box above for that one.

here's a fun little slide show to check out. i must stress that a lot of this stuff, in the way that they present it can be understood at least superficially by smart people like those who read this blog.

i can't remember if i have linked this article before, but this LCQ stuff is amazing. not to mention there's a phsycist with an artist's eye researching it. check it out, it will blow you away!

no 'im sorry's' about all the science stuff
you're just going to have to like it--->

home is where the heart is
here's a little map of my home...

laying out my winter clothes-->

swings

there are times, i swear it, that i consider whether or not i am crazy. sometimes i am happy, genuinely happy. other times i am really sad, sick of everything and want to just start over.

i absolutely hate going to school. i want to work on projects with a team, not with a bunch of idiot kids in a class too full to breath. i feel like a remnant of something that has passed, like a different type of person from all those around me. there's a couple folks out there who get it. dead mike knows what i am talking about, and he's said a fair bit himself too. touched me to the core. but im still at a loss for what to do. i need prayer big time. i need i.tv to come through, or else to be transformed into some super being who can stand to finish school here if the job doesn't work out.

at this point i don't have any clue what to do, but sit here, thinking about oregon, surfing, van morrison, and installation art. sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

--->

who's the man?

you are

the pen is mightier--->

im your huckleberry

reading this article reminded me of all the times spent in the woods of my youth, gathering this heavenly treat from the banks of mountains streams. i can't describe the ultimate sweetness of this little moursel. read on for yourself right here.

yum yums--->

picture postcard

here's my first picture post on my blog

so there you have it, the welcome sign from my home town

do it --->

i want candy

i am longing for the sweetness of life, and not the melancholly (or however you spell it). sweetness right now would be figuring out how to get pictures on my blog. dmh, you must must must tell me. otherwise i won't split a storage unit with you. or i will, but i eat all your stuff while you are in michigan, which my buddy paul has said.. "michigan seems like a dream to me now..."

walked off to look for america--->

answer to prayer?

i know i haven't been able to update much lately, mostly because there isn't a computer at my house anymore. that gets a little bit tedious. anyway i think i have a place to crash, in whittier no less, on my street even, for the next couple of months. its with some friends and should still be fairly normal for what i am used to. now i just need to find a nice cheap storage place for all my junk(*sentimental treasures*)

ok bye--->

big post

below is an article that i wrote for the paper. it's about blogs
its pretty long


--->

Cup of coffee & your morning blog


For our parent's generation, the morning would often start out with a hot cup of coffee and a chance to ruffle through the pages of the newspaper. Personally whenever i smell real newsprint, i can’t help but crave a nice up of coffee in a thick handled mug. It sounds super Pavlovian, but sooner or later I may not crave coffee or information when I smell newsprint -- instead my caffeinne fit may be triggered by the smell of my laptop and a need for blogs.

You are either thinking to yourself at this point, “I have no idea what a blog is,” or you are a total blog fiend, have already experimented with creating a wikki and you update your blog via video from a PDA while you’re in class. If you are the former and not the nerdier latter, you are going to need some help catching up.

Let’s start out with definition according the newest version of the Oxford English Dictionary: blog • noun a weblog. • verb (blogs, blogging, blogged) [no obj.] [usu. as noun] (blogging) add new material to or regularly update a weblog. - DERIVATIVES blogger noun.

A blog is a web page made up of usually short, frequently updated posts that are arranged chronologically—like a "what's new" page or journal. The content and purposes of blogs varies greatly. Many blogs are personal, ‘what's on my mind’ type musings. Others are collaborative efforts based on a specific topic or area of interest. Some blogs are just for fun. Some are for work. Some are both.

So say I am blogging, I am a blogger, one who blogs; what exactly is it that I regularly update my site with? ANYTHING! It’s the internet after all, and everything out there can be linked, dissed, loved and ranted about right on your own little piece of the blogosphere. Yes, the blogosphere.

At 12:45 AM on December 30, 2001 William Quick formally proposed the name ‘Blogosphere’ on Daily Pundit (a blog) as ‘ a name for the intellectual cyberspace we bloggers occupy.’ In the post he even sights the greek logos as the root word. This post, only a few years old now, sums up what blogs are becoming. Individuals are relating truth (or what they think truth is) to each other through links, comments and discussions about issues, thoughts and stuff on other blogs.

The craziest thing about blogs, is that anyone with internet access can blog. There are several completely free (I’m serious) services that will format and host your blog for you. The most popular of these blog services is, not suprisingly, a site called blogger.com Blogger is easy to use, easy to update and has a huge help section that can help even the most skittish Luddite learn how to hyperlink in hyperspeed.

Famous people blog.

Blogging allows for people who don’t have the influential and monetary stutus of Rupert Murdoch or Ted Turner to have a media empire of their own. Suprisingly though, there a quite a few celebrity blogs out there. Dave Barry, the sindicated humor columnist, electronic music artist (cough), Moby and even William Shatner are all members of the blogcelebs. However there are also a number of people who have gained celebrity status strictly from their use of a blog.

Salam Pax is the name used by a blogger from Baghdad, who’s site dear_raed.blogspot.com was nearly overloaded during the invasion Iraq, namely because he was the only one inside the capitol city stilling updating. Anti-Sadam, yet not super pro-American, Salam offers a point of view unreachable before the advent of blogging. Anyone can read his first hand account of his parents home getting searched by American troops the day after it happend. He posts about how it affected them, and how their daily lifes have changed since the beginning of the occupation. It’s almost like having a friend you’ve never known, from somewhere you’ve never been -- and its changing the way that people communicate and the way that information spreads.

Blogs are becoming a powerful source for up-to-the-minute news from any particular place on earth, including those that might not have as much traditional media exposure. There are even occasions, more and more common as blogging increases in popularity, where individual’s or news blogs will scoop major news outlets like television and radio and get to a story of importance first. Big media is beginning to feel the sting and has made some changes, including blogs of their own. Thankfully many of the big media blogs that I have read are managed by real reporters with journalism degrees and credentials to match. This is a welcome addition to the often misspelled and misguided postings of some less-intelligent, albeit well intentioned, members of the blogosphere.

Some of the more prominent news outlets, including MSNBC in a large way, have begun to dedicate correspondants to blogs. Science, Art&Culture, Politics, News, and Pop Culture blogs have all found a home on MSNBC.com staffed by a good swath of intelligent folks. Several of these have made it onto my daily read list, if not my weekly one.

As time goes on, and I become more familiar with the content of a score of blogs, I have begun to frequent some of them to stayon top of certain issues. I have a blog i read about Israel, Iraq, Science, Pop Culture, Art, a blog about other blogs, and of course my friends’ blogs. These are the things that i make sure to read everday while I am surfing the net. I feel a lot better about becoming more informed via blogs, than i do about randomly surfing and finding dead-end links to stuff i really want to learn about. This daily encounter, and continual converstaion between blogs and bloggers is really beginning to change the way that people, online at least, are gauging the credibility and importance of issues.

Popdex.com, not only lists the top 50 sites linked to the most every single day, but the top 100 sites most linked to of all time. A simple scan down this list indicates who is being seen and linked. In the blogosphere spots on the popdex list are like the Gold Standard for credibility. Even if people don’t agree with what has been posted, the thought is that at least its being read, and in a big way.

The future of blogging is already here.

Beyond the text and pictures of most blogs, the frontier pioneers of blogging are hacking their trial trough the uncharted lands of audio and video blogging. Sending voice and video files to blogs from anywhere in the world their PDA’s have wireless access, these select few may be the precursor to where our increasingly electronically connected world is heading. Some leading electro-social theorists have conjectected several things possible in this interconnected world -- mass demonstrations organized by blog via PDA’s and cellphones, up-to-the-second news updates from any place occupied by anyone around the world, flash mobs, instant access to your favorite pundits... anywhere in the world.

Some of these things are already happening, in the U.K., Japan and even here in the U.S. The thing to decide is what are we going to do about it. Blogs are here to stay and there’s nothing that going to stop the phenomnen. Blogging is becoming more and more apart of many people’s daily lives. This is another tool that can be used to spread truth and reach out to people outside of our normal sphere of influence. I stay in contact with people in other states and countries through my blog, and there’s no lack of interaction on issues of faith. Even if its just to chronical your days, or to take a step towrad reaching out to people on faith, there’s no better time to blog than now.